Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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