All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
