Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize