so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
