Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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