you guys were way drunker than both of me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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