my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
