there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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