Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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