420 ftw
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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