She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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