True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
