So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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