it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
