U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
