Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
They have beer where we have blood.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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