My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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