I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
