So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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