i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
