yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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