Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
