She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
