i just wanna soil my oats bro
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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