I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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