quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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