no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize