i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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