woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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