Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
