this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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