it hurts more in the daytime
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
