Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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