Have you finally orgasmed yet?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
