dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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