Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
