don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
