I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
