all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
