the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
