I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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