I hate all girls vehemently.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
