I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
