When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
