You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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