You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
