In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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