But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
