youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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