i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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