ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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