My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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