I'm lost and stupid without you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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