at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"