I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
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There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Pants are for mortals