I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
