It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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