Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize