good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
