Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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