i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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